Lahna Turner
Lahna Turner
Personal Life
Lahna met comedian Ralphie May at an open mic night in Houston Texas, and the two comedians began dating. They eventually married on July 3, 2005. In 2007 their first child was born, a daughter named April June. A son was born shortly after in 2009 named August James. The husband and wife comedy duo worked together on a Podcast titled "Perfect 10."[12]
In 2015, after a decade of marriage, Turner filed for divorce from Ralphie, citing irreconcilable differences as one of the reasons.
She filed for sole and joint custody of the children.
The divorce was never finalized due to May's unfortunate death of cardiac arrest on October 6, 2017.[15]
In March of 2017 Lahna wrote an article that was published on Laugh Spin titled Lahna Turner: How I Lost 500 Pounds. In the article she mentions her relationship with Ralphie and how it effected her,[16]
Over the 4th of July weekend in 2006, we got married in Las Vegas by three Elvis impersonators.
Why three?
I have no idea.
Maybe because it’s a magic number.
Ralphie wore the biggest tux we could find and I wore a simple, chic wedding dress that a friend of a friend made for me at the last minute.
It was a really fun wedding.
The article continued to how the marriage came to an end,
For years, I was trying to force a man who didn’t want to get well to get well and juggling all these plates that were constantly crashing down.
Now I feel like if I just work really hard and do the right things, work on myself and take care of my children, it’s going to be okay.
Career
Stand-Up Comedy
Lahna is a touring stand-up comedian who performs at comedy venues across the United States, including those in Los Angeles, Ohio, and Milwaukee. Her performances are musical with a dark, humorous twist. While Lahna plays the guitar she sings intelligent and funny lyrics.
In the song "Condom" she sings about being treated like a used condom in a relationship,[42]
"I was that condom
that condom was me
I had your back eternally
You rolled up our loved and tossed me away
even though you're a bitch,
I was there anyway"
Comedy Albums
She has released three comedy albums over the years:
| Date | Title | Runtime |
|---|---|---|
| September 1, 2004 | Dick Jokes & Other Assorted Love Songs | 45:14 |
| April 13, 2012 | If These Lips Could Talk | 31:25 |
| September 20, 2016 | Limeade | 31:52 |
Limeade
In 2017 Lahna released a comedic satire of Beyoncé's Lemonade short film. Turner titled it Limeade and it is described as:[17]
A comedic homage to Beyonce’s “Lemonade,” Lahna Turner turns heartbreak into laughter in this comedy visual music album.
Utilizing hilarious lyrics and provocative visuals, Turner explores her Five Stages of Grief following her unexpected divorce from her husband standup comedian Ralphie May.
Television and Film
Turner has made appearances in the following television programs and movies, in some capacities as a producer and writer:[4]
| Year | Title | Role |
|---|---|---|
| 2009 | CMTInsider | Guest |
| 2010 | Still Workin on It | Joann |
| 2012 | Dog Whisperer with Cesar Millan | Guest |
| 2013 | Writer/Herself | |
| 2013 | Producer | |
| 2014 | Guest | |
| 2014 | How to Be a Grown Up | Guest |
| 2014 | ||
| 2015 | Herself | |
| 2015 | Guest | |
| 2015 | Herself | |
| 2016 | Herself | |
| 2017 | This Is Meg (film) | Angel |
| 2017 | Limeade[14] | Herself |
| 2017 | The Mythicist Milwaukee Show | Herself |
| 2018 | The Dr. Susan Block Show | Guest |
| 2018 | Brand New Old Love | Thrift Store Owner |
| 2019 | What's Eating Ralphie May? | Producer/Herself |
Social Media
Her Instagram profile has over 4,000 followers. She often posts selfies of her daily life as well as photos alongside friends and family. Lahna's photographs are taken all over the United States, including locations in Iowa, Los Angeles, and Colorado. Turner is known by the handle @lahnaturnerr.[6]
Lahna also has a YouTube channel titled LahnaTurnerVideos that has over 1,500 subscribers. Her first video on the platform was uploaded on July 7, 2007 and featured Lahna singing "The Stereotype Song". The most-watched video is July 20, 2010's "Lahna Turner - BM at a BP" with over 127,000 views.[7][8]
Trivia
Lahna has a pet cat named Prince that is often featured on her social media pooping in toilets and walking on a leash.[24][25]
Her astrological sign is Cancer.